Why do we do it to ourselves? We spend hours of our precious time worrying about how much we weigh, what we can do to attain the perfect number on the scale, and anxious about how others perceive our bodies. It is a vicious cycle of self hate and loathing that creates not only emotional and mental stress, but can also keep you from actually loosing weight because you are so stressed out.
The struggles that women, girls and some men experience pertaining to this topic absolutely make my heart ache. It kills me to think of woman and young girls who are beautiful and talented yet have these dark horses hanging over their heads everyday, all day. However, I want you to know that you are not alone. I have struggled with eating disorders since I was 13 and I completely understand the pain, tension, and constant frustration that is at the forefront of your mental energy everyday. Perhaps we all need a reminder or, even more saddening, perhaps we don’t hear it enough, but PLEASE HEAR ME NOW… You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. Your body, size, shape, age, skin, clothes, eyes, legs, laugh, etc are PERFECT. These are the things that make you unique and make you stand out. We must stop allowing ourselves to try to please everyone in order to fit into a specific mold, because by doing so, we are doing a disservice to ourselves and our own mental happiness. There is nothing in this world that is worth your own personal, mental, and emotional happiness. No job, no significant other, no money, etc. If you can not be happy with yourself, then everything else in your life will suffer. You must try to find some inner peace and end this tireless cycle of self hate so that you can be a better partner, mother, father, sister, brother, employee, and overall person.
I understand how it can become so easy to get fixated on a specific number on the scale, but let’s take a moment and step back to look at some facts, because we all need a little reminder to keep things in perspective every now and again. First, and most importantly, weight is JUST a number. It does not define you, at least not if you let it. What should DEFINE YOU is how you FEEL! Are you comfortable in your own skin? Can you keep up with your kids, your friends, and your family in the ways you want? These are the important things in life, not what one arbitrary numerical reading on a scale says about you. That number you see on the scale can be a result of SO many factors including, salt intake, hormones, water retention, STRESS, and sleep… to name a few. The scale should be used by doctors but for your purposes, you are not doing yourself ANY favors by torturing yourself by getting on that scale everyday. Has stepping on that scale ever produced a positive emotion? The answer is probably no, and even if it is “yes”, what did you have to do and sacrifice in life to get there? Was it worth it? If one of your friends was constantly calling you names, telling you you were fat and ugly, and physically hitting you… would you still be her friend? I can tell you the answer to that….. HELL NO!! You would not put up with that crap. So then why…. when the world will be harsh enough as it is…. why in the world are you doing something that causes you so much pain, anxiety, and frustration. Why are you beating up on yourself? I know this is easier said then done, but you have got to stop. Life is too short to be in a constant battle with yourself. And it’s exhausting! Wouldn’t you rather be exhausted from a serious game of hide-and-go-seek with your adorable grandchildren, or exhausted from a overnight backpacking trip with great friends in the mountains, than be exhausted from mentally abusing yourself?
In addition, what kind of role model are you being for your those you love and care most about in your life? What if say, your daughter or granddaughter, were feeling this intense hate and anger towards their bodies that you are feeling towards yours? What would you say to consul them? When you take a moment to leave your head, and you see it happening in other women or girls, you realize just how silly it truly is. We beat ourselves up to get a number on a little machine that we have deemed “acceptable” and “worthy”. But in reality, NO ONE CARES but you. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own battles, that your number on a scale doesn’t even cross their minds. While you may think that loosing “that extra 10 pounds” may really make you stand out.. the honest and nasty truth is.. the majority of people probably won’t even notice. People are SO wrapped up into themselves that other’s struggles are often gone unnoticed.
So then, what DO people notice? People notice when others are happy, self-fulfilled, and fill a room with a certain, and often unexplainable, positive energy. Before losing weight and being skinny, the thing people want the most in life is to be happy. Have a good life. Have a loving family and support system. And let me tell you something, YOU HAVE ALL THOSE THINGS. You should radiant the second you walk into a room. You should be thankful to have an outstandingly beautiful family who loves and would fight for you to the end of the earth. And I am not saying everything is going to be peachy all the time, but that’s why you need to save your energy. Save your energy to fight the good battles, and let go of this battle with yourself that is producing NO POSITIVE RESULTS. You are too wonderful to keep spending so much mental energy and time on such an unimportant thing.
YOU ARE WONDERFUL. YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. Accept yourself, love yourself, and stop worrying about the weight. What will be, will be. Keep focusing on getting stronger for the truly important things in life, because THAT is what is will make you bone-deep happy. I feel your pain and I feel your struggle, but you CAN get through this. Patience, my sweet friends.